Fasting

Experiencing something for the very first time is almost always a memorable thing. It's like the Foreigner song, "Feels like the First Time" which you can listen to here and then thank me for that song being stuck in your head the rest of the day. Go back in time with me. Remember your first:

Kiss?

Day you had your license?

Wedding Day?

Birth of 1st child?

1st roller coaster ride?

Sometimes "1st time experiences" are painful/things you wish you could forget: Maybe something like:

Divorce?

Loss of job?

A death of a loved one?

Watching the Sex and the City movie (had to throw a joke in there, was getting sad.)

Recently, my aunt was telling me about this book she read on Fasting. Fasting is a spiritual discipline that is discussed throughout the Bible and it means to go without food for a certain amount of time. I've always been somewhat of a pig when it comes to food. I won't lie, I can put it away with the best of them. In college, I would buy the Pillsbury packages of Break n' Bake cookies (24 cookies choc. chip cookies in a package) and would bake the entire tray of cookies and proceed to eat them all in one sitting. I love food and there is no doubt I truly struggle with gluttony. Food is more than a drug to me, sometimes it's a god. In a bad mood? How about some chips and salsa? Bored? How about rooting through the fridge or pantry to munch on something? Watching a movie? Gotta have popcorn. Going to a baseball game? Gotta have some peanuts and hot dogs. I have done all of those things just in this past week.

So before I continue on with the "Fasting" topic, I need to update you really quick on something. Karrie and I moved back to Indiana about 7 weeks ago. We spent the first month just relaxing and enjoying our family, kids, and each other. It was an incredible time of recovery after a long period of stress. However, we have been chomping at the bit for our next mission in ministry. There's something that has been on our hearts for a couple of years now and we had not spent a ton of time in prayer about it. But in the past 9 months or so, it's been fresh on our minds and just in the past 2 months, we have really been thinking and praying heavily about it. I'll get into more details later about all this, but the main point is we really needed a "burning bush" moment, a clear answer from God on this thing. I'm sure many of you are in the midst or have had similar times with God.

So back to Fasting, this book my aunt recommended is written by this charismatic Pentecostal dude. So immediately, I'm turned off. Like every TV preacher I know, his picture is on every side of the book. He's even got a picture on the side of the book jacket of him with this cheesy serious look on his face staring away from the camera, off into the distance, as if he sees a blonde haired, blue eyed, white robed Jesus walking towards him. But since I'm a recovering cynic (great article in Relevant magazine about Satire vs. Cynicism that every struggling cynic should read), I knew I had to get past my own arrogance and judgment and check this book out. The reason? Like any selfish Christian, sometimes, I would love for God to be more of a "genie in a bottle" than sovereign and discerning. Anyone else?

So in chapter 1 of the book, this guy cites Matthew 6 and Jesus says, "When you pray...when you give...when you fast." The author points out Jesus's focus is on "when", not "if". Christians are expected to do all of those, after all, Jesus did them all. I read that and I'm like, "Well, I give. I pray. But I've never fasted." Not once! Why? Because I'm selfish and I love food. My next stream of thought looked something like this, "Giving? That's easy, it's just a one-time setup of automatic withdrawal. Praying? I can give up some minutes each day to talk to God. Fasting? I love food too much. It's not convenient. I need food." And the excuses kept coming. I know that stream of thought isn't very holy or anything, but that's pretty much what popped into my head. We do that don't we? We have a checklist in our heads that we could run down to mentally defend ourselves. It makes us feel better about ourselves. But that's another topic for some other time.

Here I am, really craving for an answer to this prayer Karrie and I had been praying. There are two questions we have been asking God that required two seperate answers. And after reading what Jesus said in Matthew 6, I thought, "Wow, I need to fast." And it's important I clarify, I didn't want to fast because I thought it was some sort of trick to get God to answer my prayer. Yes, I was hoping He would answer, of course, but it wasn't the main motivation. For me, the motivation for fasting was because Jesus expected me to do it as a leader. I mean, I've given a message on fasting before and I've never done it. How hypocritical is that? If I want to be a Godly leader and disciple, I need to let the Word of God mold me and shape me. I read that from Matthew 6 and couldn't get away from it. It's not like I could pretend I didn't read it. It was like getting caught in a lie. Sometimes, you just have to own up to it and make a change.

So I planned to fast for one full day, at least 24 hours. I did it. Survived without gnawing on my own arm or anything. And God showed up in a crazy way that day. It was a "burning bush" moment for me. And I'll finish the story tomorrow.